Keep it on yer head

Jerry Seinfeld once made an interesting observation about hair: when it's part of your head, you can't get enough of it. When you find a lone strand in the shower, you're grossed out beyond belief.

Today, two stories of hair that aren't doing their respective owners any favors:

1. Today is Monday, which means that I spent 60 minutes pedaling on a bike that went absolutely nowhere. At the beginning of class, I looked up and the guy in front of me had the hairiest ear I've ever seen. The clincher was that the hair was only located around the edge of the ear, where one might get caressed, for example. And this wasn't peach fuzz: this was hair. Long enough that you could grab ahold of it if you were bold enough to take a fiftysomething by the ear.

2. This weekend, I ran into a friend who started relating her latest relationship adventures to me. She started by saying that she had met someone who was sweet, generous, and educated. They went for a few drinks. They saw a movie.

Then she spotted it.

Mr. Wonderful has a single eyebrow hair that is freakishly longer, darker, and more unruly than the rest.

I tried to put a positive spin on things: 'Surely this is something that can be fixed. I get those bad boys all the time, and I pull them out.'

'It looks like he's growing a single pubic hair from his forehead. The thought of getting anywhere near that thing grosses me out.'

So much for that relationship.

As a footnote, she also related this wonderfully-freaky tidbit to me: it turns out that Mr. Wonderful has a little 'non-sexual man crush' on John Kerry. Apparently, a perfect day to him would involve sailing around Nantucket with Mr. Kerry while wearing 'crew neck sweaters and Sperry top-siders'.

Suddenly, that eyebrow hair is starting to look a lot longer.