Why I don't arrive to work at 7.30

I woke up an hour earlier than usual this morning because I had to take my car to the shop.

When I got there, the service manager assured me that it would be a quick repair, but--after waiting for an hour and a half--I started getting a little restless. For one thing, I realized that I really had to pee.

I went to the bathroom, found a stall, and spent a few seconds searching for the hole in my boxer shorts.

This is when I realized that I had put my underwear on backwards.

This... er, technical difficulty plagued me for the rest of the day. Every time I went to the bathroom, I found that any previous memories had been erased and the scene would play itself out exactly as it had a few hours earlier: the search, the realization, and the grimace.

At work, I like to say that I'm half right all the time. (The guy in the office next door is 100% right half the time.) Despite this warning, people still come to my office to ask technical questions. This afternoon, during a particularly difficult Q&A session, I said, 'Listen, I woke up an hour earlier than usual this morning and my underwear is on backwards. What's more, I keep forgetting about it, so my bathroom breaks all have a surprise ending. Perhaps it would be better if we discussed this tomorrow.'

To that end, I plan on waking up at the usual time tomorrow morning.

But I'll be sure to use the closet light when I'm getting dressed, just in case.