I don't care if I ever get back

Spring is here, which means that WGN has started saving me a seat at the Cubs games.

For four years, I lived a few blocks south of Wrigley Field on the north side of Chicago. When you live that close, you quickly realize that a baseball stadium is a neighbor who constantly disrupts your life, but you'd never say anything because they throw really great parties. You learn to avoid the northbound train an hour before game time, and you (generously!) tell the non-locals that they're allowed to buy a Slurpee at the 7-11 on Sheffield and bring it into the game.

I can tell that it's still early in the season: the ivy hasn't yet turned the outfield walls green and the people in the bleachers are wearing shirts. The Cub-O's are playing 600 ball, and optimism is running high. However, the season will progress with the occasional highs and (often too many) lows, all the while hoping that we make it to October before breaking out the phrase, 'Maybe next year.'

If you know nothing at all about baseball, let me fill you in on a little secret: always befriend a Cubs fan. They possess many of the qualities that you're looking for in a companion: they're positive-thinkers, very loyal, gracious and--most important--they have a good sense of humor. You'd have to after watching a fan crush your Series hopes in 2003 or trading Greg Maddux to the Bra... well, we don't need to get into it.

I'm going to go buy some peanuts, and I'll see you back on the couch in five.